A superior alternative to flirting?

Allow me to clarify first and foremost that flirting can be fun, sexy and lets face it, incredibly addictive. A delicate art characterised by an individuals charm, confidence and intellect. Balancing your approach to remain subtle yet unequivocal . But like most facets of life it's all about the execution. It has become apparent that the modern mans idea of successful flirting is perceived by women as distasteful at best and unfortunately misogynistic at worst. The focus of flirting has shifted from building chemistry to the development of an overly prevalent sexual undertone, much to the detriment of successful interaction. Women refer to this dominant undertone as a 'hidden agenda' but lets face it, it's hardly hidden and thus painfully obvious. Personally I blame porn (stay tuned, thats another article altogether). But porn isn't the only culprit at work here. The 21st century has seen the development of a hook up culture. A social sub-culture infested with unwritten rules. The classic example is today’s pre-relationship power dynamic, in which heavily favors the person who cares the least. Text first, reply too quickly or constantly initiate the move and you'll be labeled as desperate, clingy and old news. In a world of unwritten rules, confusing power dynamics and a hesitancy of expressing honesty in the fear of appearing vulnerable, how should us modern men flirt? What if the answer was...you shouldn't. 

Through observation, social experimentation and having way too much spare time I believe i've come across a viable and subjectively speaking, a superior alternative to flirting. Humour. Girls reading this, whens the last time you were out and a guy you just met made you laugh so much you were wiping away the tears whilst discovering an effective alternative to crunches? Think about how you feel when you express and reciprocate with a sense of humour. Humour achieves everything that effective flirting should. It showcases confidence, builds rapport, gages interest and develops chemistry. Although there's clearly some similarities between the pair, where flirting falls short is the ability to make a woman feel comfortable. Flirting I feel, is more often than not, poorly executed and can genuinely make a woman feel uncomfortable (and as many men have experienced, disgusted). As a result, flirting gets perceived as being sleazy. Ask any woman what her biggest turn off is, I can almost guarantee sleaziness will be in her top 3. When people feel uncomfortable and disgusted, they very rarely want to stay and chat, let alone exchange contact information. 

One of the trends I've observed is just how many women have a genuine distaste for men, who whilst attempting to emulate confidence, come across as arrogant knobs. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance and I believe humour is the perfect balance. You can appear confident and if you play your cards right, can get away with being playfully cocky without the negative connotations of the sleazy alternative. Perhaps where humour may fall short is directness.  If you don't cut to the chase and establish your intentions, prepare to be friend zoned. Solution? Stick with the humour route and show some initiative, tell her you want to take her for dinner, if she says no at least there are no mind games.

It truly is amazing what a genuine approach and some confidence can achieve. I also accept that some men enjoy the act of flirtation, so same rule applies, why not amplify the effectiveness of your flirting by establishing a foundation of social comfortability through the use of humour thus maximising your success and perhaps aiding the suspense with social 'foreplay'. Think of humour as the perfect entrée to the flirtatious main course. You've got nothing to lose from trying. Maybe through the implementation of the lost art of humour can we buck the trend and break the stereotype of the sleazy douchebag all whilst promoting healthy, fun and successful social interactions.